Carpe Diem!

“I’ve been dating a great guy for almost a year now. I adore him and we get along famously. I find that I’m getting too attached to my beau: relying on him to do things on the weekend, during my times off, pretty much relying on him whenever I’m out of the office. You see, I’ve lived in the Middle East for 6 years and got back in my native land of Canada 4 years ago. Once I got here, I hung out (once again) with the wrong crowd, got myself in old disgusting habits and finally got myself back on track by studying something I was passionate about (graphic design!) By doing so, I’ve cut down on social activities and for the past 2 years, I can’t say I’ve done much to show for myself. All the friends I’ve had since (to name a few) have either left the country or I’ve cut them out of my life (mainly all for the same reason that they like whining and never taking advice when they ask… which I absolutely hate. Plus just hearing them talk made me extremely miserable) So I’ve been marinating in my own solitude and was very depressed up until I finally got a job and met my boyfriend. He’s great, I enjoy the times I spend with him and I enjoy the company of his friends but I’m afraid I’m relying too much on him. I do not want to be the girl who needs a man to make her complete. I don’t have a great network of friends (I do but they’ve just scattered around the globe!) and I have no idea how to keep myself occupied. I work in an office and sit in front of a computer for 40 hours a week only to come home after work and pretty much do the same thing. I’ve been trying to design my own website to expose my portfolio but I’m not motivated enough or have too many ideas to settle with. I’d love to go out with friends, be adventurous once again, but as of now if my boyfriend isn’t available I go out every so often with my brother, trying to catch comedy shows, going to the museum, etc. All in all, my question is “How can I keep myself occupied nowadays and make friends?” Work would sound like the perfect place to meet people but unfortunately, I’m surrounded by family men & women and there’s hardly anyone who would practice what I do of my lifestyle. I want to live life to the fullest, it’s my recent motto in life “Carpe Diem”… I really want to do something about it :)”

Your life can be anything you want it to be, you just have to point it in the right direction! Here’s what I would do in your situation.

I am a Virgo, & I love to make lists, so I suggest that you make a big, long list of things that you like, or things that you enjoy doing. Start writing it on a piece of paper & then carry it with you for the next week or so. Write down everything you can think of, no matter how stupid it is. Then, when you can’t possibly think of anything else, look it over & let your brain tick over the possible ways in which you could bring these things into your life in the present.

For example, if you like looking at the stars, you could make an effort to do that every night — or you could take an astronomy course, or visit your local observatory & learn more that way. If you like clothes & dressing up, you could start a blog or a zine, try designing your own clothes, or even approach local magazines & ask if you can get some experience as a stylist’s assistant.

Doing this kind of thing kills two birds with one stone — it will give you things to do as well as introducing you to a whole host of new people who probably are into the same things as you. Do your best to be open & friendly & it will be easy! (If you want more tips on making friends, see my article Popularity.)

Other than that, I think the reason you’re having trouble with putting a website together for your portfolio is that you don’t have a clear goal in mind. That makes it hard to do anything! Work out what you want to do, break it down into small, manageable chunks, go forth & conquer!

Good luck!