“It’s Christmas time as you know. Usually one of my favourite times, but this year, I’m not excited. Nothing is exciting me. I find it terribly upsetting but nothing is triggering those wonderful memories. All I can think about is the bad from last year, the things I don’t want to do this season. Needless to say sugarplums are not dancing in my head. I’ve drunk eggnog, hot cocoa, eaten candy canes… Still I find myself rather Grinch-ish. Are there any thoughts or ideas you could give me to brighten my cheer?”

Aw, darling! Sounds like you have the Christmas blues, like Dean Martin! Don’t worry, you’re not alone. It’s all too easy to get caught up in the crazy consumerism of Christmas & feel estranged from the positive aspects of the season.

To get rid of all the bad stuff from last year that is plaguing you, I suggest you try something which seems a little bit kooky but works. Lie down somewhere that you won’t be disturbed. Breathe deeply & get relaxed. Picture yourself on top of the world (it doesn’t have to be to scale!), & visualise a cord coming out of your spine. Have this cord connect you to the centre of the earth. I always see it like I’m dropping anchor — when my cord hits the centre of the earth, I visualise an anchor wrapping around the core of the planet. Now, imagine that cord is like a garbage chute. Allow all of the negative energy & ugly rubbish inside you going down that cord & disappearing into the middle of the earth. Okay, now picture a big jug. Take that jug & scoop some light off the sun. Pour that light all over you, from head to toe. Saturate yourself in it.

Now! Picture a huge rose off to one side of you. I always see a big Dali rose, but that’s just how I do! On the other side of you, make a movie of all the bad things which have happened this year. Maybe you stubbed your toe & your dog peed on your favourite coat — just see all that stuff happening. Grab it & throw it on the rose. Watch the rose soak it up. Then move that rose out of your house. Down the street, past the buildings, to the nearest body of water, like the ocean or a huge lake. Picture blowing it up like it was full of dynamite — just explode it. That’s all you need to do. I know it sounds very odd, but EFT sounds weird too, & that works, so you never know! Putting events into a rose & blowing it up is a really good thing to do before you go to sleep, too, if your mind is full of what’s been going on.

Okay, time to tackle the Christmas cheer dilemma! Here are my suggestions.

Buy pointsettias or Christmas lilies
Flowers are a fantastic way to raise your levels of happiness, regardless of the season — but at Christmas, buying something which smacks of the season is the best. Pointsettias are known as a classic Christmas bloom, as are Christmas lilies (my favourite). I have Christmas lilies on my desk right now, & they smell fantastic as well as providing entertainment — they’ve been opening today, which is a delight to observe.

Google “christmas events” + (your city)
Most cities have a lot of things going on over the Christmas period, not all of them for children (though it can be fun to get a photo with Santa, regardless of your age). For example, in Melbourne, one of the city squares has a big plastic Christmas tree which plays jazzed-up Christmas tunes, & there’s a light show on the ground next to it which makes it look like it’s snowing. I love it! There will surely be something weird & seasonal happening near you — all you have to do is find it!

Put up a Christmas tree
It doesn’t have to be big — even a teeny one the size of your hand will do the trick. One year, my parents & I spent Christmas in Noumea, & since we were going to be staying in a hotel room, my mother decided we should bring Christmas with us. She carried a little plastic tree with her onto the plane, through customs, & out the other side. All the airport staff thought we were hilarious. Anyway, trimming a tree is a lovely thing to do & will definitely help get you into the spirit. If you don’t want to spend lots of money, decorate whatever plants you have in your house. Tie a red ribbon around the pot of a cactus, or string pearls around the trunk of a ficus. Also, IKEA has amazingly inexpensive fairy lights, some of which are battery powered — perfect for winding around branches.

Go & see other people’s Christmas decorations
There is always one crazy street which is the Christmas street. There are so many lights draped over the houses that the whole area is like daylight all the time. Find out where this happens in your town, & then go & gawk! Remember to take a camera (& maybe a tripod) so you can nab some fantastic pictures.

Watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
“Hallelujah! … Holy sh#t! … Where’s the Tylenol?!” is my new text message alert tone.

Go to a Christmas service
I know that churches aren’t everyone’s cup of tea — they’re not mine either, really. But I do love Christmas carols. I think it’s part of my Anglican school upbringing — I just adore them. There is something magnificent about groups of people singing together. See? Even if you aren’t very familiar with most Christmas songs, go to a carol service just to listen. I promise you will feel happier & full of hope when it’s over.

Start compiling a Christmas playlist
Preferably made up of songs which don’t make you want to throw yourself out the window. Try things like Run DMC’s Christmas In Hollis & Eartha Kitt’s Santa Baby. & don’t forget Wham’s Last Christmas! Love the hair, Georgey Baby!

If Christmas seems too pointless…
…Watch this & focus on something else, as well as printing & distributing this poster.

Merry Christmas, everyone.