Okay, it sounds like a lot of you have trouble attaching false eyelashes, so I am here to light your way!

I had actually never used false eyelashes myself before last weekend! I was always put off by the difficulty factor, but it’s actually nowhere near as hard as it seems. One hint I have, though, is to never buy those awful blunt false eyelashes. You want them to wing out: shorter at the start & longer at the end. This looks more ‘natural’ (if that’s at all possible) & less clown-like.

How to apply false eyelashes

Using liquid eyeliner & a brush, paint a line along your lashes, from one end to the other. Make it narrow at the furtherest points, & a bit thicker in the middle — this will make your eye appear more round. The reason for doing this is that false eyelashes tend to have a bit of a band holding them all together, & if you can only see that, you will look like a bad drag queen. The eyeliner effectively disguises that, as well as making you look like a sultry little minx!

Apply a thin coating of glue along the base of the false eyelashes. Usually you get a little tube of it in the package. I don’t have any info on what the best kind of glue to use is, but I assume they’re much of a muchness! Blow on the fresh glue to help it get tacky quickly.

Bring the lashes up to your face with much trepidation. No, no, that’s optional! Take the false eyelashes & press the far edge against the outer corner of your eye. The glue should still be kind of soft, so you can wiggle the lashes around for a while yet. Push the lashes down as far as you can — you want them to sit along your natural lash line.

Press the rest of the strip down in a similar fashion. Remember to wear them as low as you can!

Examine your eyelashes obsessively in the mirror; think about how gorrrrgeous you look! Apply a thin coat of mascara & get ready to dazzle!

P.S. If you buy good quality false eyelashes, you can re-use them by gently peeling the glue off & putting them back in the storage container. Cheap eyelashes will tend to lose their shape, so spending a little bit more is really worth it.

Simple, hmm? In the picture above I’m wearing some false eyelashes by Chi Chi which are decorated with little pearls. I am very fond of them. They retail for about $12 in Australia, but I can’t find any information about them online — sorry!

Here are some lovely falsies that would be proud to make an appearance above your peepers…

Shu Uemura Radiant Blue. Not strictly blue, though — more a lovely peacock-esque combination of blue, black & green. Delicious. I love the shape.

Shu Uemura Premium Brown Feather. These are very strange, & kind of make me think of a flurry in the chickenhouse. But I guess if you weren’t wearing denim overalls & a straw hat, it could work…

Shu Uemura Slant Blue. True blue, baby, like Madonna. These are very Hackers, dontcha think? Just call me Kate Libby. (Oh, I wish you would!)

Shu Uemura 79. For those of you who are just dying to be Twiggy, these are the falsies for you. Golly. They are certainly voluminous. I might even go so far as to say… sumptuous. Plus, they could easily double as a dustpan & brush in an emergency — très useful!

Shu Uemura Dazzling Diamante. Inspired by the pair that was created for Madonna, which featured REAL diamonds, here is a set for those of us who are more shoe-string than bling-bling. This set has real FAKE diamonds. (Does anyone else remember that Jellybean “for real sweet girls” brand?!)

Shu Uemura 01. The classic, the tried & true. A good “starter lash”, if there ever was such a thing. Shu Uemura’s most popular style, for subtle glamourpusses everywhere.

You will notice that these are all made by Shu Uemura. What can I say? They’re the best, baby. Kryolan do amazing false eyelashes too, but they don’t have much of a web presence so they might as well not exist. Shrinkle also sells incredible falsies but I don’t know where she gets them from, sorry. (Maybe you should buy them from her direct!)

I hope this information helps you bat your new eyelashes winsomely into your future. Just be careful not to bat them into someone’s drink!