How Hirsute Are You?!

“What have you found the be the best solution for facial hair? I don’t mean advice on how to grow a beard, more like how to remove that irritating little strip of hair on the upper lip. I’ve used bleach, then moved on to a cream hair remover, and am now thinking about getting it professionally waxed. I have my hesitations though. In the past month I got a monroe piercing, and don’t feel too comfortable with someone dripping hot wax around it, followed by possibly yanking it out! While I would love to just get some sort of laser surgery and never have to worry about it again, it’s not really in my price range. So, possibly with the help of your readers, what is the best method for facial hair removal?”

Ahhh yes, facial hair. Moustaches & chin hair & other unsightly sproutings, otherwise known as the bane of women everywhere! (Well, except for JD Samson from Le Tigre…)

Your removal method will depend on your growth. For this reason, I have devised a little quiz…

How Hirsute Are You?!
Tally your points to find out your ideal solution!

When I look in the mirror, I…
Notice a little bit of fuzz if I lean in close & squint (1 point)
Can see little dark bits at either corner of my mouth (2 points)
Have to stand back so my moustache doesn’t touch the glass (3 points)

My normal hair removal method is…
Not applicable — I don’t need to do anything to it (1 point)
Cream bleach or hair remover (2 points)
Lawnmower/prayer (3 points)

My facial hair has impacted on my life in the following way:
I don’t think it has (1 point)
My boyfriend once mentioned it so I keep it in check (2 points)
I was offered the part of “bearded lady” in my school play… every year (3 points)

Your score

Between 1 & 3 points: Glabrous Gal
Lucky you! You have a minimal amount of facial fuzz & so you’re in the enviable position of not having to do anything to keep your upper lip looking luscious.

If you have a little bit of what they call “peach fuzz” (this is normal, by the way), don’t be tempted to shave, wax or otherwise fiddle about with it — while some people think this doesn’t affect the thickness or darkness of the hair, others swear up & down that it will forever alter the way it grows. If you can stay hassle-free, do! It’s not worth it!

Between 4 & 6 points: Sprouting Sweetheart
You probably have a few dark hairs on your upper lip. Before you start despairing, rest assured that you have many options, among them bleaching, waxing, threading, cream hair removal & electrolysis.

Bleaching & cream hair removal are both things you can do at home with kits from the supermarket. It takes less than ten minutes & is a very easy way to get rid of your mo. However, depilatory cream can make you feel a bit “stubbly” as it grows back, which isn’t a great aphrodisiac. Also, if your skin is quite dark, think before you bleach your hair! Some bleaches turn the hair totally white, while others (like Sally Hansen) come in a few different tones to match the skin. When it comes to either of these hair removal methods, be sure to buy a gentle brand (again, Sally Hansen is good), because the formulas can be quite harsh on sensitive skin.

A lot of people swear by threading (which is also great for eyebrows) as a removal technique, which pulls the hair out entirely but is more gentle than waxing.

Waxing is probably the most painful route, but also the most popular! It lasts a long time, about 3 or 4 weeks, but reactions to waxing are common (such as breaking out all over the waxed area) — so if you’ve ever had a bad reaction to a wax before, you might want to try beeswax or an alternative method of hair removal.

Electrolysis is the permanent option, & works by sending an electrical pulse down the hair follicle. You will usually need between 4 & 6 sessions to see results. It is the most expensive option, but also the most effective. Be sure to research a good salon before you have it done, as it is a fairly serious procedure & can result in scarring when done improperly.

If you only have the occasional dark hair, a pair of tweezers might be your best friend!

Beyond 7 points: Piliferous Paramour
If you feel more fuzzy than fabulous, don’t worry! You are not alone! There are lots of things you can do to counter your hair growth.

Cream hair removal, waxing, threading & electrolysis are all excellent options for you. I would recommend electrolysis first of all, since after only a few (usually between 4 & 6) sessions, you should find the hair growth has stopped entirely — meaning you never have to think about it again! Hallelujah!

Waxing & threading would be joint second runners-up in terms of recommendation, since they remove the entire hair follicle, allowing you three to four weeks of hairless bliss.

Cream hair removal or depilatory cream is also an option, though it will require more upkeep than any of the other methods. On the plus side, it’s something you can do at home.

Women with dark upper lip hair often find themselves sprouting on the sides of their faces & chins, too. Whether you choose to remove all of the hair or only some, it’s worth talking to a great beautician to see what they can do for you.

Hirsuitism is actually a medical term & can be a symptom of some kind of disease, like Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) or some other adrenal-linked medical condition, so if you’re worried about it, you might want to get it checked out. Usually though, plentiful dark facial hair is just the result of having fabulous Middle Eastern or Mediterranean women in your family tree!

Having said all of this, what you decide to do (or not do) about your facial hair is your choice. There’s no reason why you can’t just rock it like Frida Kahlo!

P.S. If you’re feeling down on your fuzzy foliage, check out Flickr’s Hot Girl Mustache & fake moustachioed girls groups!