Keeping Your Relationship Fresh

There are no two ways about it, sometimes relationships are tough. Sometimes, even those of us in the most blissful domestic situations view the single life with a mixture of envy & wistfulness. Sometimes, you just want to be alone, or start new, or even commit bloody murder. If, however, you’re actually reasonably happy with your loved one, it’s usually easier to try & revive things than break up with your lover! Here are some ways to go about it.

Tell your girlfriend to block off a few hours one day this week, then take her on a secret picnic.

Bake together & then pull what we in the business call “a Violet Blue” — meaning your lover feeds you & you’re not allowed to use your hands.

Write lists of reasons why you think your boyfriend is hot/a genius/the best ever, & leave them in secret places.


Go camping at the beach & tell each other ghost stories.

Resist the urge to ‘win’ every argument. (There is no such thing.)

Be vocal about your adoration.

Hold hands when you’re sleeping.

Make up ridiculous names for one another.

Do new things together. Go to the orchestra, the opera, the ballet, little dive bars in Chinatown, the casino, the state fair, art galleries, libraries, vintage clothing stores. Dress up & do it properly, make it an occasion.

Sit in cafes, drink coffee or hot chocolate, & talk. No cellphones, no newspapers, no paperbacks. Just the two of you.

Let him know what you’re passionate about, & vice versa. If you love couture, give him some history & show him pictures. If he’s crazy about arcade games, try to share his enthusiasm as much as possible!

Cook a big meal together once a week.

Spend time underneath blankets.

Make sandcastles at the beach.

Make little films of things you’d like to remember.

Keep polaroids of the two of you in your wallet.


Surprise your lover with weird, small, spontaneous gifts — far more interesting than ye olde “here are some flowers because it’s Valentine’s Day” schtick.

Put some money aside, secretly, then donate it to whatever makes your partner most happy. A massage? A yoga class? A session of indoor rock-climbing?

Send cute/hot/erotic text messages.

Get all your friends together & go out for a meal & dancing.

Draw hearts on your girlfriend’s feet.

Bathe together & then stumble into bed, wrapped in hot towels.