More EFT Information
This is a follow-up piece to my original article, EFT. EFT is a healing technique that I use on myself. Here are the things I’ve learned about EFT since I started. I use it every day, & have done so for over a year now, so I have a fairly good idea of what works & what doesn’t!
The tapping points are…
Crown of the head / start of each eyebrow / side of each eye / underneath each eye / between nose & mouth / dent of chin / where collarbones meet / an inch below the nipple / an inch below the armpit.
Always, always, always drink lots of water before & after you tap. I often find that sometimes I finish tapping & feel like nothing has changed, but after I take a big ol’ slug of water (think at least 500mL), I feel things shifting. The best thing is to drink lots of water beforehand, though — I find it helps to lubricate my brain, as well as not leaving me so thirsty when I’m finished.
If you feel like you’re tapping & nothing is happening, it could be that you’re trying to tackle a really big problem. From what I’ve seen, trying to remove physical problems (like eczema or psoriasis) can take a little while, just because there’s so much to it. There is the physical manifestation (dry or itchy skin), but you also need to look at everything that surrounds that. When did it start (& what happened at that time in your life)? Do you feel shame about it? What are the benefits of having this problem? (Maybe you don’t have to show your skin which makes you feel more secure, or maybe everyone in your family has it & so it makes you feel like you belong.) What do you think needs to change before this problem will go away? What will happen if the problem goes away entirely?
EFT is a brilliant thing to use to increase your efficiency, which is a major reason why I love it. You don’t have to dip into all that emotional baggage stuff if you don’t want to — just use it to make you more productive. iCiNG would not exist without EFT! Tap whenever you’re feeling grumpy or cranky or demotivated about a project, drink some water & see how your attitude changes. EFT is nothing short of amazing used in this way.
Further to the efficiency thing, I used to find that one week a month (sorry guys…), I was so depressed & angry & emotionally wobbly that I really couldn’t get anything done. This used to frustrate me so much, since I am basically a productivity geek, & one week a month is 12 weeks a year! That is way too much time to waste lying around feeling sorry for yourself. I used EFT to tap out all my symptoms at the time (“Even though I’m really grumpy & feel hideous & have cramps & can’t concentrate on my work…”), which worked brilliantly, & then tapped it for the future (“Even though every time I have my period I end up wasting the entire week…”). These days, I still require a bit more sleep than usual that week, but my productivity is just as good as any other time of the month. Bonus!
Tapping is kind of like peeling an onion. You remove one problem which then reveals something deeper, which reveals something even more core. The best thing to do is stick at it.
Whenever you have a thought about something that you would rather not have — like, “I’m never going to be able to afford anything at Chanel” — if you can’t tap on it at the time (which is the best thing to do, because you’re very emotionally present in the moment), write it down & do it later. Otherwise it will come back, & it’s such a rubbish, limiting belief, who needs it?
It really helps if you can emotionally connect with the problem you’re trying to resolve. That’s why doing the setup (tapping the karate chop point) is so helpful. Sometimes just launching into a few rounds isn’t enough, because you’re not really feeling the problem. You need to have an emotional response to what you’re doing, otherwise you probably won’t see a lot of results.
Tapping is tiring. I make lists of things I need to tap on & then go through them all in the shower (with a bottle of water just outside the shower door). Afterwards I often feel incredibly drained, & will have to go & have a sleep. If using EFT makes you feel tired as well, the very best thing you can do is hydrate & then sleep. Allow your body to process the changes you’re making. It’s actually quite a major upheaval, which you will become more aware of as you continue with it.
One girl said she had tried doing EFT but that her mind wandered as she was doing the rounds. That’s okay! I often have major breakthroughs when my mind isn’t totally on task, because I just start talking. Pay attention to what you say naturally because it is very common for really interesting beliefs or thoughts to come to the surface when you do this — things you aren’t consciously aware of. It’s okay to tap with an empty mind. “Even though I don’t know what to say… even though I think this is reeeeally stuuuupid… even though I don’t want to make a fool of myself… even though I value logic above all things, even my own mental health…!”
If you’re going to tackle an issue of self-worth, self esteem or body image, it can help to do this while you look in the mirror. This can be quite scary. A lot of people find it very hard to say “I love & forgive you” to a reflection. It’s also hard to lie to your reflection, so if you tap in the mirror you will make big progress.
I have often hit a wall with EFT where I feel like I’m not making any changes at all, which can be incredibly frustrating. Thankfully I have a boyfriend who can point out that I never tap on the same problem twice, & that my progress has been phenomenal. When it’s just you, tapping alone, it can be hard to look at it objectively. It might be helpful for you to have a notebook where you write down the things you’ve tapped on, or make a list of problems & as you work through them, cross them out. This will give you some perspective when you’re having a hard time, because you’ll realise that you never tap on the same thing twice.
If you’re tapping & you have a crazy idea, run with it. That’s probably your intuition speaking. I find that often the first thing I think of is right.
Try to be as specific with the issue as possible. If you’re angry with your sister, don’t just say “Even though I’m angry with my sister…” Trace it back to what you think the root of the problem might be, like, “Even though when we went out to lunch my sister told me I was a disappointment…”
Using EFT is scary & requires great personal courage. Most people are terrified by the idea of looking deep inside themselves & examining what’s there, & will never do it. My heart could burst with pride when people tell me about their experiences with EFT; I think they’re the most amazing people who ever lived.
Remember that you can use EFT for all kinds of things. I once had a friend come to visit me in Auckland just before I moved away, & our time together was really weird because she literally couldn’t stop thinking about this boy she liked. It was as if I only had 20% of her attention at any one time. She told me how much it was frustrating her, so we sat down & I showed her how to tap through it. We faced one another & she followed what I was doing, & repeated what I was saying. “Even though I can’t stop thinking about Clark, & it’s frustrating me because he won’t get out of my head, & I can’t stop obsessing about what’s going to happen when I get home…” Afterwards, she guzzled some water, stopped obsessing over him & we had a fantastic time. True story. (Oh, & when she went home, they got together & have been for two years!)
I think a lot of people who use EFT really only use it to get rid of surface problems. There’s nothing wrong with this, of course, it’s brilliant to even use it at all, but I’ve had marvellous results from really investigating my life & clearing out the emotional debris. It has turned me into the happy person I am today, hee! Anyway, if you’re also interested in doing this kind of thing, here are some questions to ask yourself, & then tap on anything that comes up:
* If you could live your life over, what events (or interactions with people) would you skip, & why?
* What/who makes you angry, & why?
* What is your biggest regret?
* What is missing that would make your life perfect?
* Which 3 fears would you like to remove from your life?
* Who or what has held you back from being amazing?
The crucial part of tapping is really where you say that you deeply love & accept & forgive yourself. Don’t leave this bit out! The basic formula for tapping a round is “Even though I ________, I deeply & completely love & accept myself. Even though I _______, I deeply & completely love & forgive myself.” If you’re not sure how to structure what you say beyond this, I would advise going with something like…
(Drink water. Deep breath.) “Even though I have writer’s block, I deeply & completely love & forgive myself. Even though I have no idea what to write & it is driving me nuts, I deeply & completely love & accept myself anyway. Even though it makes me feel like a moron, & I shouldn’t have this problem, I should be able to just get on with it, I deeply & completely love & accept & forgive myself. Even though the idea of sitting at my desk not writing pains me, I choose to release this feeling. I choose to be able to write easily with a clear mind, words flowing like water, in a state of bliss. Even though I have had writer’s block, I choose to let that go. I deeply & completely love & accept & forgive myself.” (Deep breath. Drink water.)
One girl wrote to me saying that she was afraid of saying she loved, accepted & forgave herself. That’s totally understandable, & I think we all get to a stage at some point where we are so out of sync with ourselves that we are frightened of who we are. If saying the part about love/acceptance/forgiveness weirds you out, just power on through. Say it anyway, even if you don’t believe it. You basically need to trick your body into believing it. The more you say it, the more true it will become. Fake it until you make it, & all that. It works, I promise!
My amazing boyfriend made an EFT website a little while ago. It has some great tapping examples which are definitely worth a look! (I may be biased, but hey…)
My friend Rod, who is a professional EFT practitioner, is offering all iCiNG readers a free 40 minute phone session! Click for more details. He’s wonderful, I promise!
I was planning on making another EFT video but I’d like to make one that someone can use, straight off the bat. If you have a problem that you think you might be able to tackle with EFT, but you’re not sure how to do it, leave a comment & I’ll choose one to use as an example!