I received a package from Madame Rouge the other day. I tore it open excitedly to discover an OhMiBod box, containing a pink vibe, a metre long cable, a splitter & a pink velvet bag. I grabbed my iPod, stuck the splitter in the headphone jack, & then connected my headphones & the OhMiBod to it. I chose some tracks & giggled as the OhMiBod pulsed in my hand in time to Justin Timberlake.
So, what is the OhMiBod & what does it do?
“Everyone loves music. Everyone loves sex. OhMiBod combines music and pleasure to create the ultimate acsexsory™ to your iPod.”
I can’t tell you exactly how it works — not geeky enough, I’m afraid. What I can tell you is that it interprets the sounds emanating from your MP3 player & translates them into vibrations. While it sounds kind of gimmicky & silly, it soon becomes addictive & the perfection of the pairing becomes startlingly obvious.
The OhMiBod isn’t a very attractive looking object — it looks more like the end of an elf’s pointy pink shoe than anything you might want near your underpants. But I promise you, once you attach this unusual gizmo to your iPod, stereo or even laptop, you will forgive it its cosmetic misgivings.
I love my OhMiBod. A lot. It’s the ultimate toy for the aurally-fixated. I am definitely one of those people. I live, eat & breathe music, I am always listening to something new, & I am often overcome with the feeling of wanting to crawl inside my favourite songs. So conjuring up a way for a song to give me an orgasm makes me very, very happy.
You can buy an additional accessory to the OhMiBod, a “life-like” neon pink jelly skin which slides over the top… Though one might be moved to ask, “What exactly is it about a neon pink faux-phallus that is ‘life-like’?” It’s an interesting addition, & great for when you want to get a little bit more intimate with your OhMiBod. But of course it does dilute the strength of the pulsations, so if strong direct vibrations are important to you, it will probably just get in your way.
So, of course, now we get down to the crux of it. What makes a good OhMiBod song? Initially I thought it would just be something with a lot of bass, but it was not to be! Really what it’s all about — for me, anyway, ahem — is a strong, steady rhythm. Experiment at your
Gala’s OhMiBod Playlist
Michael Jackson feat. Will.I.Am – P.Y.T
Atmosphere – The Old Style ft. Cuts by DJ Plain Ol’ Bill
Beastie Boys – An Open Letter To NYC (Chew Fu Refix)
Jurassic 5 – Hey
IAMX – Bring Me Back A Dog
Tricky – Hell Is Round The Corner
Lady Gaga – Paparazzi
One of the coolest things about the OhMiBod is that a community has sprung up around it. It’s called Club Vibe, & it’s a place where people share playlists & guest DJs submit their favourite tracks! Continual new music for your perusal! Such a good idea.
Trust me when I say that if you buy one, you will never think about music the same way again…
Madame Rouge is selling the delightful OhMiBod for $110AU. Even better, there’s free, next-day metro delivery for Australian buyers if you quote “iCiNG” when you check out! Please do believe me when I say they’re a lot of fun!
What do you think about the pairing of music & sex? For me, it’s almost impossible to have one without the other. Do you own any toys at all? What do you like? & more importantly, how likely would you be to bliss out to the dulcet tones of your favourite band?!
Extra For Experts:
An interview with Suki of OhMiBod — if you want to know more about the founder of the company, this is worth a read!