Stepford Witch. The glamour of a Stepford wife mixed with the eccentricity of a wicked witch. A matte black manicure and a tan; waking up with the sunrise and doing spells by the pool. Let’s conjure up a bed of roses.

“A witch is just a girl who knows her mind.” — Cathrynne M. Valente

It’s about proportion: an oversized hat with a swing dress and big black boots. It’s about attitude: uptown etiquette and a downtown disposition. It’s about the mix: Pilates and astral projection, casting runes while ordering room service…

Pepto-Bismol pink shift dresses and licorice-striped stockings. Big black hats and heart-shaped purses. Chunky quartz necklaces and raspberry glitter nails. Maxi skirts and striped crop tops; a customi leather jacket and colossal sunglasses. A crescent moon tattoo on your ring finger (“I’m married to the Moon now”).

A Stepford Witch is equally at home in a pink skirt suit and a jewelled kaftan on the beaches of Mexico; just as comfortable delegating as she is burning away what she no longer needs. She interprets her dreams, she pulls tarot cards in the morning, and she loves to flirt, cat-eyed, over a cocktail.

Bad girl chic meets Beverly Hills.

HOW TO BE A STEPFORD WITCH

Cut your bangs extra-short and load your fingers with rings. Carve candles on the beach with your best friend. Grow your hair long and recite spells as you plait tiny braids. Paint a pentagram onto a fingernail. Tuck fresh flowers into the laces of your boots. Wear a hot pink mala with every outfit. Make holographic star earrings. Turn your coffee table into one big crystal grid. Keep a box of matches in your handbag, and put crystals in the bottom of a jug of water. Anoint yourself with oil in the morning, and sage your bedroom after every “casual encounter”. Go on a cruise and fill an entire suitcase with swimsuits. Instagram every rainbow you see. Spend plenty of time with other magical babes. Buy yourself a fucking great diamond. Never be without lipstick.

Yours magically,