The Playgirl’s Guide To Radical Self-Love


Valentine’s Day is in two weeks. (Eeeeep!) Alternately loathed & lauded (usually depending on which side of the relationship fence you’re on!), for many of us, it’s a day that doesn’t fit quite right.

Yes, you can curse everyone you’ve ever crushed on. You can threaten to burn down Hallmark’s hallowed halls. You can have an anti-Valentine’s Day party with your best friends & stuff yourself with heart-shaped chocolates, but I don’t think any of these options really deals with how we feel! It just keeps us from defenestration or drinking a bottle of red wine before passing out in the front of the television. For one night, anyway!

Distractions have their place but when they are never-ending, eventually they stop working…

As fun as it can be to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, go shopping or wear false eyelashes, life won’t really start to bloom until we’re comfortable with who we are. This is true every day, but becomes even poignant on Valentine’s Day, typically a celebration of someone else being in love with us.

So many of us are looking for someone else to fill a space, love & approve of us or take away our loneliness.

But whose love & approval is most important? Someone else’s? Or your own?

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love & affection than you are yourself, & that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection.”(Buddha)

It’s easy to forget. We get so caught up chasing boys or deliberately not responding to them (à la The Rules), working long hours & Tweeting frantically that we neglect ourselves. We spend so much money on cosmetics that we forget that our inside is what’s most important. We try so hard to snare the perfect lover when we should focus on simply being love.

We think that loving ourselves will just come later, naturally — & it may. But what if it doesn’t come along until you’re 50? Or 80? What if it never does? We think, “I’ll love myself when I have a baby”, or, “I’ll love myself when I get a better job”. But what about the meantime? Should you just suffer in silence until that mythical moment? What if having a baby or getting a promotion doesn’t make you love yourself?

That’s why I have decided to declare February the month of…

Radical Self Love

I say, it’s time to romance yourself. It’s time for the greatest love affair you will ever know. It’s time for a personal revolution. I say, you deserve to be your own darling! Get enchanted! Bewitch yourself! I say, if not now, when?

Let’s get busy adoring ourselves.

Once upon a time, I ran this thing called the iCiNG Transformation Challenge. The idea was to pick something you wanted to change, & then every day I sent out motivating tips, quotes & pictures via email. It was a huge success. I always remember one nonpareil writing to tell me that she used the power of the iTC to get off drugs. The reason these things work is because we are all in it together. We decide to jump in & support one another. We commit to moving forward positively, & we start walking in the same direction.

This time the task is more focused. Self-love is so important, & our lives really are vastly improved if we can just manage to love ourselves more.

It’s something we’re told to do all the time — love yourself, love yourself, love yourself — but how? Where are you supposed to begin? What tools do you need, if any? & how do you know if you’re on the right track?

I’m delighted to announce that from now until the 28th of the month, in addition to your regular content, I’ll be dishing out tips on how to really truly madly deeply fall in love with yourself! Topics will range far & wide. Girl love, body image, masturbation, jealousy, honoring & respecting yourself, positive self-talk, being assertive, manifesting your own dream girl persona & self-marriage are all up for grabs! Homework will be assigned (though it is totally optional, of course!), & I’ll be asking you to participate by sending in photos, stories & spreading the word!

I have a ton of goodies lined up already, but to make it totally useful & tailored to you, I want to know what you’d really love to hear about! What have you battled with most in your quest for radical self-love? Do you have trouble with your body image? Don’t know how to develop more confidence? Find it tricky to speak your mind? Whatever it is, let us know, & I’ll do my very best to create content around it!

God, I’m so excited! I think this is going to be so amazing & I can’t wait to hear where you’re at & follow your progress throughout the month! Are you ready?! I am!