The Search For The Perfect Summer Dress
I’ve been obsessively browsing eBay recently, looking for the Perfect Summer Dress. You understand this fever, don’t you? It’s the fervent search for a dress that exists mostly in the imagination.
You imagine yourself wearing it. In your mind’s eye, your eyelashes are obscenely long, your lips are a deep pink & you’re laughing. You have never looked better. Birds chirp around you. The dress fits you perfectly. An adoring crowd surrounds you, hanging on your every word. The music reaches a crescendo. Two men on either side of you lift you up & you kick your legs like a Broadway star before being placed on a picnic blanket in an impeccable setting. You sit there in your beautiful dress, while fireflies pirouette around you & people offer you chocolate-dipped strawberries, & you quaff champagne like a delightful maniac ALL NIGHT LONG.
I KNOW that you have had this fantasy too. Stop protesting! I know the truth!
Anyway, the point is, as I’ve been looking for my Perfect Summer Dress (henceforth to be known as the PSD), I’ve seen oodles of adorable dresses that are in colours which don’t suit me, or sizes which wouldn’t fit, or at price points that I’m just not quite ready to stretch to. & doesn’t it seem wasteful to just pass them by, when I could let YOU know about them? You, who come in all shapes & sizes? You, who, let’s face it, probably ALSO have PSD fever?
Remember that because these dresses are on eBay, most of them will be gone within a week! Some of them end in a day’s time, so don’t dawdle!
Item description: Vintage 80s ascot bow tie blue stripe nautical mini dress
Size: 34″ bust
Current price: $14.50
Lauren had never met her father, but her mother once told her he had been a roving sea captain. Despite the fact that she couldn’t swim & had an irrational paralysing fear of jellyfish, she spent almost all of her free time at the beach. She would walk back & forth, holding an eyeglass, & staring out to sea. Lauren only dated men who had boats, but it never lasted long.
Item description: Vintage 50s bombshell blue atomic party shirt dress
Size: 44″ bust
Current price: $40.00
Samar pretended to be an adult. She had a job, sure, & a husband, & children. But when no one was around she would juggle chainsaws, pull faces at the television, & practice her krumping.
Item description: Vintage 50s red striped party sun dress velvet bows
Size: 36″ bust
Current price: $49.99
Lotte was determined to use Alice In Wonderland as the template for the way she lived her own life. She had already taken up croquet lessons, & found a pair of slightly rotund male twins to accompany her everywhere. As much as she tried to call them Tweedledum & Tweedledee, they just would not let her get away with it.
Item description: Vintage 80s grunge bold floral bandage bodycon mini dress
Size: 31″ bust
Current price: $19.99
Florence shaved the side of her head & weaved flowers & feathers through the rest. She had bought a little dinghy through Craigslist at the start of the spring & planned to spend most of her summer lying in it, floating down the river on her back.
Item description: Vintage blue pink psychedelic floral dress
Size: 36″ bust
Current price: $55.00
Mona wanted to live in London more than anything. She had developed a taste for baked beans & toast & watched Coronation Street devotedly. She kissed a photo of Ringo every night before going to sleep to dream about the changing of the guard.
Item description: Vintage 80s color block stripe hot pink bow dress
Size: 36″ bust
Current price: $59.99
Lotus enjoyed nothing better than a throwing a rad dinner party. She loved to plan everything in intimate detail & finish with some kind of fantastic finale, like setting a tiny fire on everyone’s plate & then handing out marshmallows on sticks.
Item description: Vintage 60s pink hibiscus floral Hawaiian maxi dress
Size: 31″ bust
Current price: $89.99
Ashleigh wished she liked people. But she just didn’t. She preferred animals. & rocks.
Item description: Vintage 60s mod floral Vanity Fair nylon slip mini dress
Size: 36″ bust
Current price: $45.00
Sema wore high heels everywhere — couldn’t abide being without them. Her gym membership had been revoked when she tried to run on a treadmill in a pair of 6-inchers. It was kind of weird though — she was a mannequin. How can a mannequin run on a treadmill? What kind of mannequin has a gym membership in the first place? So many questions, so little time.
Item description: Vintage 60s hot pink bullet bra mod sun party dress
Size: 32″-37″ bust
Current price: $134.99 (ouch, sad face)
Nao obsessively documented her life. Her front door was covered with Polaroids of every meal she had ever eaten, she had a journal which detailed every outfit she’d worn & she kept fanatical notes about conversations she had. It helped keep everything straight in her head, because she was also a pathological liar.
Item description: Vintage 70s hot pink empire babydoll mini dress
Size: 32″ bust
Current price: $49.99
Viveka’s husband thought she was the perfect wife. Every night when he came home, dinner was on the table & the house was spotless. Little did he know, she had hired help in secret, & spent the day practicing her knife-throwing act.
Item description: Vintage 50s Hawaiian Kamehameha full party sun dress
Size: 38″ bust
Current price: $595.00 (!!!)
Roberta was made of plastic.
Who knows, with the right dress, the picture above could be a realistic approximation of your summer!
Where’s YOUR favourite place to load up on summer dresses?
P.S. In case you were wondering, I get no kickbacks from these links! xo!