How To Perform A Striptease!
[ 23 December 2007 ]
‘Tis the season to be jolly… & why not be jolly while you take your clothes off?!
Why should I do it?
Well, why not?! But if you really need rationale, how about… because it’s sexy? Because it’s fun? Because it makes life more exciting? Because it’s harmless? Because your lover will be reminded how amazing you actually are? Because it’s liberating? Because you can?
Where do I begin?
There are two possible methods to start with. The first one is the deliberate tease — where you call or email or write your lover a note ahead of time & tell them what’s in store. Not explicitly; being subtle & dropping a few clues is sexier than just saying, “Oi, mate! I’m gonna take me kit off for you tonight!” The other option is just to surprise them. Maybe tell them to wait in the living room, & then just emerge looking fabulous.
Some other options for setting the scenario include dimming the lights or lighting candles.
What should I wear?
A few layers, but not too many. It doesn’t matter too much if it’s hugely uncomfortable, since ultimately it’s all coming off anyway. But you need to wear shoes you can walk & wiggle about in! Falling on your butt midway through your routine, while potentially hilarious, might not help maintain the atmosphere of mystery & seduction you’re aiming for!
A costume is an option (a sexy one, not a gorilla suit!), but if you’re really stumped & don’t have a favourite dress, try a collared shirt with a pencil skirt, seamed stockings, heels & your hair in a chignon. It’s an oldie but a goodie. Extra points for a pencil through your hair, which you then remove to shake out your tresses!
Good underwear is essential. It’s the most important part of the outfit — you’ll feel really daggy if you’re wearing saggy underpants or a bra that’s so tight it leaves visible marks on your skin. You don’t have to invest hundreds of dollars in good underwear, even though it’s nice to do so. You can buy hot, cute underpants for less than $10 if you know where to go, & a great bra with a cool design for less than $50. The lingerie industry is really great at the moment — there are a million different options when it comes to shape, size, colour or patterns, it tends to be fairly durable stuff & it’s very inexpensive.
I think a suspender belt worn with stockings is an integral part of the outfit. It gives you one more thing to remove (okay, three actually), & they’re SO hot & rare & fabulous, you just can’t go wrong.
As for make-up… If you’re good at it, you can’t go wrong with a nice cat’s eye. Red lipstick is also an excellent option.
You might also want to slap on a bit of fake tan the day before your big reveal. It sounds like a cliché but it really is great at covering “imperfections” & making you look slimmer & more toned. Even if your lover doesn’t notice, it’s worth doing for the confidence boost — which will come through.
Okay… tell me what I should do!
Now that you’re dressed, here’s a tip. Before you walk out to greet your audience, assume a persona. Pretend that you are a famous French dominatrix, or a sexy Russian spy — someone a little bit different. That way, when you walk into the living room, you won’t be tempted to refill the cat’s bowl before you start.
Walk into the room where the great seduction is about to take place. No, strike that — stride, strut or wiggle into the room. Tell your lover that you’re going to put on a show, & that you are in complete control. If they can be trusted to just sit there & behave, then leave it at that. If not, or if you want to make it a bit more exciting, lightly bind your lover’s hands with a silk scarf or even a rope if you have it, you little rascal!
Hit the music. Crank the volume a bit. Do a little dance. If you can’t dance, make sure you move your hips. Circling them around in the shape of a figure 8 is always sexy. Approach your lover slowly, lift their chin with a finger, make like you’re going to kiss them — then lightly push their head back.
Continue with your slow, sensual boogie. If you’re wearing a jacket or shirt, start to unbutton it, beginning at the top. Turn around so that your back is to them, & as you look back at them, continue unbuttoning. Smile! Raise your shoulder slightly so that the shirt or jacket slides down a little bit & exposes your shoulder. Extract both arms from the sleeves, then turn to face your audience, but at the same time, move the shirt around so that it’s covering your bra. Then, slowly let it drop to the floor.
Try to take off your skirt in one fluid motion, & be careful when you’re walking away from where it lies on the floor! Arch your back as you unzip it & slide it down to the ground.
Remove your shoes! Put one leg up on a chair or slightly raised surface & unhook one of your stockings. Before you take the stockings off, run your hands along your legs, from top to bottom & back again. Roll it down your leg, then take it off & let it float to the ground. Do the same with your other leg.
Keep dancing! Now you’re in your bra & underpants. If time has gone a little faster than expected, extend the length of the striptease by using a scarf as a prop. I know it sounds kind of silly, but it will give you something to do with your hands if you’re nervous, & somewhere to focus your attention (other than on your audience!). Flutter it across your body, dance around it, pretend it’s a horse — whatever works for you!
Now you can remove the last of your sultry garments. Approach your frenzied lover & slowly untie them. I think you can take it from here!
What music should I strip to?
I’m glad you asked, because good music is an essential element. It will help set the mood, give you a tempo & something to work to. I suggest you pick something that turns your crank! Something with a strong beat. Something fun. But if you’re not sure, here are some suggestions…
Depeche Mode – Personal Jesus
Madonna – Justify My Love
Gwen Stefani – Luxurious
Justin Timberlake – What Goes Around Comes Around / My Love
Timbaland – The Way I Are
Beyonce – Freakum Dress
Kylie Minogue – Chocolate
Kyuss – Gloria Lewis
Jimi Hendrix – Hey Joe
Andre 3000 feat. Norah Jones – Take Off Your Cool
LL Cool J – You Should
Notorious B.I.G. – Machine Gun Funk
Lenny Kravitz – Are You Gonna Go My Way?
Jamie Foxx – With You
This is the ultimate, though!
Christina Aguilera – Nasty Naughty Boy
Can you give me some more hints? Please?
Sure!
Maintain eye contact at all times! It might be difficult &/or embarrassing, but do it anyway! It will make the experience a million times better (roughly).
Know that you are SEXY! If you feel it & believe it, it will come across. You don’t have to have a knock-out body, but if you have confidence, your lover will be salivating all over him- or herself.
Remember that it’s called a striptease for a reason! Take it slowly. Make ‘em wait. Torture the audience!
I’ve said it before, but just to make sure, your lover is NOT allowed to touch you while you perform your special act. Otherwise it will just turn into a hump festival. That can happen later, but for now, you have a job to do!
Imagine that your hands are your lover’s hands. Think about where he or she might like to put them — & then be obliging. Touch your body slowly & with intention, drawing attention to your favourite parts!
Before you start, ensure you have the place to yourself for at least the next hour. Knowing that your mother’s on her way over for tea doesn’t really help set the mood.
What does a good striptease look like?
Kim Basinger in 9 1/2 Weeks.
Demi Moore in Striptease.
Dita Von Teese in an Agent Provocateur video.
Dita, again for Agent Provocateur, performing a striptease.
Good luck, you little vixen!
Love letters & feather headdresses,
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Gala, you are AWESOME. Not sure if I’d be game enough to do this… maybe after a few drinks, lol. But fantastic step-by-step advice :)
fantastic article!
i giggled at the russian spy bit because my [russian] boyfriend just had a dream last night where i played a role as a spy! which is a pretty kickass role if you ask me
i once saw dita strip in a small LA club. . .she tripped on the curtains and fell flat on her ass! what a pro tho’ she got right back up and continued her tease. it was fantastic
;)
OOH-ER matron! “Because you can” indeed! I like to get my man person to strip for me, because, well, I can! Heee!
& I actually wear suspender belts & stockings as part of normal, everyday dress. I suppose I’m kind of old fashioned like that.
Great tutorial, Gala. =)
Also, if you need some step-by-step help, the Carmen Electra Striptease Aerobics is great for individual moves for beginners. =)
xoxo!
I have just once more had the foolish aspect of Marilyn Manson’s character confirmed.
Love the intro photo!
haha I’m far too insecure to do this.
Would be nice though.
You really need to have Jamie Lee Curtis’ strip tease from True Lies in here. It is the best one ever
http://youtube.com/watch?v=KSpAzlqHTAU
Where are the naked boys :(
Ohmigosh Gala, you are amazing! Makes me wish I was 18, and er… had a boyfriend! May I also suggest you write up something like this for the guys too?
I saw christina perform Nasty Naughty Boy and it was the hottest thing ever. I’ve always thought I should do something to that song…
this is a great tutorial, i always think dita is the epitome of sexyness and the striptease, there are heaps of youtube videos of her doing her thing, while alot are completely over the top you can get some great ideas from them.
another thing which really works is communicating with your partner about what he likes sexually or his favorite body part, and although you dont have to perform it in the bedroom this is a good way to please his fantasies and play up on his area of intrest.
‘hump festival’ is, quite possibly, the best phrase i’ve ever heard!
now ijust have to find someone to perform for :)
What a totally fantabulous tutorial! The mention of falling on ones butt and a gorilla suit made me giggle. I don’t currently have anyone to perform for, but I intend to practise so that when I do, I’ll knock their socks off! :D
Awesome tips and an awesome idea. It can be hard to work yourself up to, but boys are visual creatures, so put on a show!
I kid you not, the first “Burlesque” show I ever saw actually had a girl in a gorilla suit, and she did not make it work. I’ve still never seen what I thought of as Good Burlesque live, which makes me sad. I have seen fantastic strippers at Union Jack’s in Portland, OR, though, hot subculture girls with tattoos, piercings, small breasts, big breasts, butt dimples, all types of body represented, and all the attitude to pull it off (and take it off) to rad music.
Also, Marilyn Manson’s cover of I Put a Spell On You, Prick’s Tough and The Magnetic Field’s Underwear are all on my list of strip tease goodness. Thumpy and sexy and dark, mmm.
wendalyn,i thought i was the only person in the world who loved manson’s cover, or even knew it existed, i kept getting weird looks :)
Love the striptease idea.. but I really just wanted to thank you for always recommending visiting a makeup counter!! I wandered into Napoleon Perdis on my lunch-break. The consultant was lovely & I left looking GORGEOUS. Seriously. I’ve never had a better looking face :p I got so many compliments at work & just had a MASSIVE boost.. All because of your repeated exhortations (& the lovely Melissa). So THANK YOU!!! Gala you rock :)
Carmen Electra’s Striptease DVD’s are fun to learn.
Disgruntled hetero girl: I think those videos were included as a “how-to,” not for titillation! Remember, this is how to perform a striptease, not how to get off from a strip tease!
Thanks Gala :D I’ve always have problems with this kind of stuff…I just get to nervous and can’t get into the “rol” of being a sexy dancer…but this is a skill that every girl should have!
Thank you Gala! I’ve always wanted to do a burlesque performance or striptease, but have been to nervous. It seems less scary now, the step by step instructions really help. :] I have some more song ideas to wiggle to: Maneater by Nelly Furtado, Love Addict by Family Force 5, Missed me by The Dresden Dolls, also most of Britney Spears new album haha! Thanks again Gala.
I nearly fell off my chair laughing at the gorilla suit. I don’t think I’m going to get the mental image of someone in a gorilla suit performing a strip tease out of my head any time soon..
im so glad you put up the scene from 9 1/2 weeks,i love that movie and kim is exceptional in it.great tips gala!wish i had someone to do it for!
oh gala a week without a computer in my little hands and how lovely it is to come back to a topic so funny but practical.
Props for having a chubby girl on the first pic.
this came at just the right time! i’m about to see my boyfriend in a couple of days after a week of being apart, and needless to say he will be very happy to see me and my newfound skills…
thanks gala!
omg gala! you cracked me up… i totally strip for my boyfriend all the time to “your own… personal…. jesus!!!” hehehe he loves it and thinks it’s a tad weird i want to strip when it comes on but it totally gets me going every time!!!
you rock!!!!
WOW, major props for putting Jimi in there! Hey Joe is a maaajor aphrodisiac for me. And Foxey Lady would be oh so nice to strip to.
Wonderful article!
Foxy Lady would be absolutely hilarious, I wouldn’t be able to stop picturing Garth from Wayne’s World! (party time, excellent!)
What a great post, Gala, I have to say. Just love it! :D I think you might post the White Stripes video ‘I just don’t know what to do with myself’ with Kate Moss performing directed by the amazing Sofia Coppola. Wonderful music and breath taking performing of Kate.
I LOVE this article. I am so tempted to try this even though just the thought terrifies me…..maybe I’ll just try it for myself and see how it goes. I think you did forget 1 important idea, though, a long pair of satin gloves!!! Maybe this can be one of my new year’s resolutions.
I know it’s a bit late, but Chris Isaak ‘Baby Did a Bad, Bad Thing’ is a really hot strip song.
Someone please explain to my dumb ass what a “suspender belt and stockings” is. Is this better than a garter belt and stockings – or the same thing?
Any other song suggestions? I’m looking for some gooooooooooooooooooood ones, to do it up right!!
My friend bought this package off the internet to surprise her boyfriend. Some of it was common sense but their was stuff abot sending chills up his spine…overcoming nerves…and little tricks on looking good naked that I didn’t hear anywhere.
www.lapdanceunleashed.com
If you don’t want to buy something online it has a free newsletter that gives some pretty good tips too.
colleen dear i would suggest
Stripper by the Soho Dolls
Bounce by Timbaland ft justin & missy & dr dre
Ooh La La by Goldfrapp
Guess Who by Nekta
i think those songs r damn sexay..so hv fun!
i just wanted to thank you.
i was having trouble finding music, and nasty naughty boy was PERFECT!
thanks so much.
Gala Loved your step by step advice, I have not seen my man in awhile and we have not had the chance to speak with each other he’s in the army, I really want to do a strip tease for him when we see each other next, but I have nothing I can wear, and I really want to look hot for him, He has seen me in every thing I own. I don’t have any friends who are the same size as me, to borrow from.( darn me for being so tiny,LOL) I would feel kind of dumb doing this in my jeans and t-shirts, Im not sure if you have any more advice to give but if you can could really use it
Thnx Ness