The Rules
[ 19 July 2007 ]
I recently stumbled across a girl’s journal entry where she had written 9 rules for herself. Things like, “learn to be charming” & “always make time for solitude”.
It got me thinking (how Carrie!) about other people’s rules for life. Do you have any? Are they concrete & solid, or flexible & subject to change? Did you create your own rules or are you towing the line originally set down by your family? Are they things you do naturally or are they things you struggle with?
Here are mine. They are concrete. Some of them stem from my family’s set of values but mostly they are things I have come to realise are right for me. Most of them I do naturally these days, though it wasn’t always that way, & some I still struggle with (see: live in the moment).
Do what makes you happy.
Avoid gossip.
Appreciate every day. Live in the moment.
Focus on the bigger picture.
Be gracious.
Only spend time with people who make you feel good.
Be sincere, be dorkily earnest — tell people you love them, that they are beautiful, that you appreciate their presence in your life.
Show love towards everyone & be unafraid of any possible repercussions.
Don’t dwell on problems; tap them out as soon as they appear.
Practice right speech (only say things which are helpful, positive & constructive).
Don’t just walk; strut!
Listen to great music & dance every day.
Always take your camera & business cards!
Never get involved with someone with a substance abuse problem or a pessimistic world view, OR someone a friend has been involved with/interested in previously!
Finally, treat people as if they were what they ought to be, & you help them to become what they are capable of becoming. (Thanks, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe!)
Love letters & feather headdresses,
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“treat people as if they were what they ought to be, & you help them to become what they are capable of becoming. (Thanks, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe!)”
I love this!
if you go to a party. make the most of it – dance, have fun. dont hang back and try to be cool. they turn out to be the parties that are no fun. whats the point in trying to be tame? trying to be cool. all in all its your life and its too short – so you should make the most of each opportunity. i hate people that hold back themselves for other people…! or worse, to be cool! its cool to b yrself.:)
Ritalin — Ditto! It’s SUCH a good approach to dealing with other people. They can be as rude/obnoxious as they like, but if you treat them with the utmost grace, there’s no friction. Ever. Just take the higher ground :> !
hayley — Yes, yes, yes! I remember once my ex-boyfriend & his friends & I went to a party full of “hip” people who were all standing around in their too-tight pants being… well, “cool” I guess. We started dancing in the middle of the living room & it really loosened everyone else up, it ended up being SO much fun.
If nothing else, I always try to follow the first rule. It was something my parents set out from a very young age, and I had to remind them a few times as I was making decisions.
Of course what you think will make you happy is not always what will make you happy… it takes a bit of trial and error!
Also my parents were constantly telling me “Don’t try to eat an elephant in one gulp”... Always break things down into manageable pieces.
My Dad also had a book called “How to eat a frog a day” about if you have to do something nasty (i.e. eat a frog) it’s much easier on you to get it out of the way and spend the rest of your day doing what you want, instead of fretting about eating the frog all day and finally eating it right before you go to bed.
i don’t know if this really applies, but one thing I try to do everyday is do something, watch something, or read something that makes me just want to run around, dance in the streets, smile, and make everyone where I go happy! =D
The most important rule: http://i4.tinypic.com/24b7rig.jpg
And I am unashamed to say that two of my favorite rules are both from Futurama:
Rule 2: I’ll be whatever I wanna do!
Rule 3: When push comes to shove, you gotta do what you love, even if it’s not a good idea.
lately i’ve been trying not to over-apologise for things that aren’t worth it. i’m always saying sorry sorry sorry, when really i haven’t done anything worth apologising for!
and also just trying to generally be a happy person and focus on the good not the bad.
i loved your article on working for yourself by the way. it was very inspiring.
i’m currently working towards getting my beaded jewellery out to the world, and hope to one day escape the corporate world that is trying to swallow me whole.
excellent blog you lovely girl, i think you’re my new fave!
big hugs, beth
“Be sincere, be dorkily earnest…”
I like that. I’ve been living by that one for a long time. People think I’m silly but it feels really good, and I think they secretly like it.
I dunno if I could make a list like this for myself. I don’t do enough stuff to know how I…do…stuff.
I love the last quote so much, I just started a new job as a Mentoring Program Manager at a Women’s Resource center and it totally encapsulates how I feel about the work. Such a wonderful life philosophy that you have.
I adore your site! I feel odd sometimes working in the nonprofit/social work sector where people tend to just dress comfortably and not be creative in their clothes because they think that their clothes might intimidate clients who can’t afford to dress a certain way. I love fashion and feel that having a sense of style means you have a sense of confidence and sense of humor and that is best thing to role model to someone… Anyway- love how you do what you do!
Love it. I try to live by quite a few of those rules (although not very successfully sometimes) and I think they make life much more enjoyable!
Thanks so much for this blog – I always come away feeling good after reading it. In fact, I had an awesome business idea whilst reading this, so thanks for the inspiration!
I really like your rules – “dorkily earnest” heehee! My own main one is “Follow your heart”. Followed by, “When in doubt, your conscience will guide you.”
i try to forgive people for the things that i hope they would forgive me for (or things i know i do, this helps immensely with bad drivers!) and treat people the way i hope to be treated.. otherwise bad things tend to come back.
i think its sort of an instant karma thing..
Over the years, and over various philosophies, my “Rules” have changed (uh oh! I just remembered, I need to update them!)
But there are a few that I’ve always kept in mind.
*Be nice.
This means be nice to other people, but to yourself as well. And sometimes, to be nice to yourself you have to stick up for yourself. It could also mean, be nice to an arch-nemesis, because it’ll only shed you in a good light. :D
*Everything happens for a reason.
This, to me, is such a calming mantra. And really, whether you think of it in a spiritual sense, or a scientific sense, it’s true. Scientifically, you do something, there’s a consequence to your action. And spiritually, it helps me realize that I can’t always get what I want, and bad things just help build my character. :D
Amour to you and your rules too!
My philosphy on life lately i “I am a dork, I embraced the dorkiness within if What I like is viewed as cheesey, immature or nerdy, so beit because being a dork is not the worst thing that could ever happen. I am kinda and loving and if I like to sing (even if badly) and I like molecular biology, if I like to hop around like a goofy muppet to music. Do it because I can’t make myself into something I am not.” :)
I especially like the last one!
“act as if you believe and judge the outcome for yourself”
it’s from o.r. melling’s the summer king, and I apply it in all facets.
Ah, you all have such great personal rules!
My “rules” are kind of negative at the moment, I’m hoping to change that.
– it is always best to keep a stiff upper lip and repress everything. – trust no one: you’re the only one you can trust. – sleep is optional, and caffeine tablets are a good substitute. – you should always be able to control everything in your life.Ugh, a bit depressing. Some of my better ones are – Don’t stress too much over making minor decisions between two options. If you can’t decide between them, obviously both have some merit, so neither can be a bad choice. (I apply this even when choosing uni subjects…)
– There is always time to read or write. – Food is not optional, food is essential and should be enjoyed.Just need to change the first three…
I like to live my life by Rudyard Kipling’s poem ‘IF’. My Dad gave it to me as I got on the plane to go overseas for a year once I left school. It beautifully summarises everything I’ve ever thought life should be about. (However, I do take exception to the last word! I tend to replace it with the female version :D)
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will which says to them: “Hold on!”
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son
love this post! :) my “rules” are (and change from time to time):
- embrace who you are; never compromise just because everyone else says you should – always look confident; even if it means putting on a bit of a “show” – treat others as you would want to be treated – don’t gossip! if others gossip, avoid engaging in reciprocal gossiping. – if you feel deeply about someone/something speak up! – take responsibility for your own actions – always listen to your gut! if its giving you a bad feeling, figure out why! – but also use your heart and your head along with your gut. combine those three and you’ve got a fighting chance of navigating through life. :)
those are pretty much my “rules”! :) I love the one about not walking but strutting! right on!! :D I retaught myself how to walk about a year ago; I watched a ton of runway videos and started walking like a model. it really helps to give the impression that I’m confident (which 99% of the time I’m not; hence my personal rule about confidence!), not to mention I’ve had several people ask me if I’d done modeling at some point since I strut (especially in high heels since the height makes long strides easier). lol. as usual, your blog has hit right home and made me think. thanks gala!! :D
1. Go for sparkly.
2. Dance with anyone who asks – at least once.
3. Don’t make fun of how other people dance.
4. Hang out with kittens as much as possible.
5. Look for the good in someone when you’re frustrated with him/her.
6. If you can’t find any, blow them a kiss and be on your way.
My Commandments:
1. don’t be afraid to apologize.
2. don’t expect anything. EVER.
3. stick to your morals.
4. listen to what people say, but don’t let them bring you down.
5. be TOTALLY HONEST all the time.
6. it’s okay to get mad.
7. if he seems nice, GO FOR IT.
Yeah, I tend to break some of them sometimes, but i try to keep my morals and rules in mind.
Your blog is amazing. I’m going to the sydney fashion blogger meet up. I can’t wait to meet you =)
● Always do what you do best – being yourself. :)
● Don’t put anyone on a higher pedestal than your own.
● Love unconditionally.
● Don’t let anyone bring you down.
● Trust your own mind before anyone else’s.
● Don’t ever let yourself feel trapped – you always have options.
● Honesty is always the best policy.
● Stick to your beliefs.
● Never stop learning.
● Don’t ever let yourself ignore the beauty of the world.
I just had to say that you and your community of readers are so refreshing. Positive outlooks, desire to be better. It shows to me that not everything in a pretty package is superficial.
I just wanted you to know I appreciate that in addition to addressing outer beauty (the fashion tips etc). Your inclusion of arcticles on inner beauty really makes this blog worth reading for me on a regular basis.
Superlove and Cupcakes with Smartee’s on Top!
1. Never blow off a compliment. Accept it into your heart and sincerely thank whoever gave it to you.
2. Always say YES to new physical activities/sports/dances, no matter how crazy they seem.
Oh gosh, I really don’t have many rules.
Just the conventions of good manners, refusing to remain small (disposing of right or wrong values especially if the act itself gravitates towards omniscience), accept change constantly, always act for the best for the innocent and good thinkers.
hullo Gala..i only can think of one rule that abide and stick to every single day; Keep the faith.
i probably have more that i do self-conciously [ahhh sp!!!].
1. Never lose your sense of wonder. That is, take a minute to stop and really think about small, wonderful things. Also don’t take anything for granted.
2. Love everyone. That doesn’t mean you have to LIKE them – there’s a difference. Not romantic love. Just love them for the sake of being them, despite (or because of) their flaws.
3. Be spontaneous.
4. Do what is necessary, not just what is convenient.
5. Think about the things that make you happy! (I do this on a regular basis. If something makes me happy every time my mind glances over the thought, I think about it often. It keeps me happy. If I’m down, I just think about that.)
Diana Vreeland did this when she was younger, too!
“Don’t expect anything”
And I made cupcakes today, which reminded me of you!! (with pink frosting and sprinkles, of course.)
Goodness how I love this site. I’ve been on it nearly every day this week;
1. “The more you judge, the less you love”
-Honoré de Balzac
2. “Embrace your inner dork. “ -me
3. When faced with your toughest challenges, choices and your darkest hours, remember to love them.
4. Live by your own personal soundtrack.
I have loads of rules but I don’t have of a list of them in my head, I just remember them when situations arise. I’ll come back when I think of one!
Dakota — Oh my god, go for sparkly! Loooove it!
Mel — Thank you so much! It will be good to meet you too, I’ve been reading your blog for ages :>
kay — Wow, I had never thought of iCiNG like that! I really appreciate your comments & readership… I think we’re creating something pretty special here! Lots of love~!
jj — So many people are unable to take a compliment! It can be really tricky to do, sometimes just sucking it up & saying “thank you” is very hard. So good for you ;>
Eileen — Loooooove Diana! I hope the cupcakes were tasty!
penny — Yay! Thank you! We’re pleased to have you ;> Nice quote by de Balzac, too.
No regrets – if something doesn’t work, or something goes wrong, learn from it and just move on.
Expect to be lucky – if you don’t think you’ll be lucky, you never will be. Part of this is seeing the good side of things “I hurt my ankle ;‘0, but that meant I got a day off work _
I love kay’s comment about inner and outer beauty! And I have another rule (actually I have plenty but, y’know, this is a PERTINENT one):
“View all mistakes as learning experiences.”
Icy — Agree on no regrets. Such a waste of energy! & look forward to seeing you in Sydney ;>
Nadine — Yes yes yes! You learn more from mistakes than successes…
Very very nice list. Totally diggin it…hmmm I may have to write out my list. hmmm
Oh, and one more (this is actually something I do) – laugh at stupid jokes. Puns, whatever.
Life’s too short to not think everything is funny.
Valerie’s comment reminded me of the lyrics to a TMBG song:
“Theres only one thing that I know how to do well
And I’ve often been told that you only can do
What you know how to do well
And thats be you,
Be what you’re like,
Be like yourself,
And so I’m having a wonderful time”
I hope I do this myself, but I can never be sure. Once again, sorry for being half a year behind BAH!
How to figure out the clothes and style that are best for you:
- Before you go out, look at yourself in the mirror and imagine you were a damsel in distress. then imagine yourself swooping down to rescue you in ultimate superhero mode. Is this what you would be wearing as the ultimate superhero version of you?