Unrequited Love
[ 26 November 2007 ]
As far as life experiences go, I would say you probably haven’t lived if you’ve never experienced the highs & lows of unrequited love. It is a crazy, heart-wrenching rollercoaster, & often we feel like we are the only person in the world who is secretly pining for someone else.
You’re definitely not the only person, though. Unrequited love is such a widespread phenomenon that there is even an entry about it on Wikipedia. I especially like the “unrequited love themes in music” section, since it mentions two of my favourite artists — Atmosphere & Damien Rice — as well as information about this song.
I tried to give you consolation, when your old man had let you down. Like a fool, I fell in love with you, you turned my whole world upside down. Layla, you’ve got me on my knees. Layla, begging darling please. Layla, darling won’t you ease my worried mind?
Unrequited love takes a lot of forms. Maybe you’re secretly in love with your best friend but don’t know how to tell them — & loathe having to grin & bear it while they tell you about their latest crush. Perhaps you are head over heels for your personal assistant. Maybe your casual fling has turned into something more emotionally serious — for you, anyway. Or perhaps you have a raging infatuation with that messy, sleepy-looking kid on the train.
Regardless, it is a unique experience. The sweet pull of joy tempered by feelings of despair. Ahhh. No wonder it’s such a pervasive theme in literature & music. Unrequited love makes you feel like you are going to explode with hope but at the same time, you wonder whether maybe this is the final straw, & you are actually going to lose your mind once & for all. You feel like you need to be in contact with the object of your affections at all times. You wonder what they’re doing. You make up excuses to call or see them. You hang off their every word — even the stupid ones. You make excuses for their bizarre behaviour. You manage, somehow, to twist everything around so that it is about you.
It reminds me of a scene from 10 Things I Hate About You.
Cameron: So, then Bianca says that I was right. That she didn’t wear the Kenneth Coles with that dress because she thought it was mixing genres. Right? And the fact that I noticed — and this is a direct quote – “really meant something.”
Michael: You told me that part already.
The hardest thing about unrequited love is knowing when to call it quits. Some people meet someone they can never have & spend — literally — the rest of their life yearning. As you can probably imagine, this is a recipe for misery. There is more to life than the affections of one person, even though it may not seem that way at the time!
How to deal with unrequited love
Decide that it’s over
Hopefully, if you’re dealing with unrequited love, you have come to the conclusion that nothing is ever really going to happen. Maybe you’ve told them about your feelings, & they laughed it off nervously. Or perhaps it has been months, & still nothing — not even harmless flirting from their side. At some point, you have to decide that enough is enough, & that it’s time to move on with your life.
If you need a bit of incentive, give this some thought. You’re pretty amazing, right? I would go so far as to say that you are incredible, mind-blowing & magnifique! Well, if this person was actually as great as you think they are, they would have realised how fabulous you are long ago, & pounced on you already… but they haven’t. It is a sad but true fact. They are obviously not that incredible, so you just need to go & shine your light somewhere else.
Break contact
It will be good for your sanity if you give yourself some space to decompress. The last thing you need when you’re trying to get over someone is having them in your face all the time. Especially if they’re being sweet & concerned — how aggravating! The way in which you initiate the separation is up to you & it will depend on your personality. Some people like to just disappear off the radar. Others like to explain themselves. If you’re going to go the explanation route, I would advise not making it too dramatic, tempting though it may be. This is a statement of intent, not a dramatic flourish where you’re secretly hoping that they will plead for you to stay. Keep it simple. You can tell the truth if you want, or make up something about a sick aunt somewhere. Whatever the case, make it as low drama as possible. Seriously, who has time for that crap?
Hide mementos
Yes, it’s finally time to clean your bedroom. Get a plastic bag & fill it with all that stuff that reminds you of the object of your affections. The sweater they left behind, a butterfly-shaped hairclip, Polaroids of the two of you together, the lock of their hair you stole from their hairdresser (you sicko!), etc. Throw it all in the bag. Then take that bag & put it somewhere you’re not going to see it. The back of the garage is a good place, or perhaps stashed behind your cello case. Leave it there. Don’t be tempted to go rummaging through it. If it will help, write “DON’T” on the outside of the bag in black marker.
Give digital temptations the heave-ho
Delete their email address from your email client. Archive (or delete) their old emails. Remove their number from your cellphone. Take them off your Livejournal, Myspace & Facebook friends lists. Unsubscribe from their RSS feed or delete the bookmark of their Flickr account. You get the idea. Basically, make it really difficult for you to contact them. Trust me, this will be a good thing at 3am in the morning when you’re plonkered & all you want to do is call them & confess your love.
Tap
Use EFT to detach emotionally from the situation. Do a couple of rounds while saying, “Even though I love ____ & he/she doesn’t feel the same way, & even though it makes me feel rejected & ugly & not good enough, I deeply & completely love & accept myself…” or something similar. Take a deep breath. Drink some water. Now, don’t you feel about 200% better?
Realise that you don’t control anyone else
This is probably the most important step. If you don’t follow any of my other advice, this is the one you need to pay attention to! This is pretty much the advice I give to anyone who asks me, “I like this guy but he doesn’t seem to pay me any attention, what should I do?” The answer is simple — just let it go & realise that you cannot make anyone do anything, & if you try, you will only come face to face with resentment, bitterness & anger. Not very conducive to true love!
People have their own lives: they are on their own path & you should respect that. Think about how much you value your own free-will, & how much you dislike it when anyone — well-intentioned or not — tries to meddle with it. Now, step back & wise up to the fact that the object of your affections deserves the same courtesy & space. Regardless of what you may think, you do not know what is best for them. Only they do. So let go.
The more desperately you grasp at someone, the further away they will slip. People drift naturally towards & away from people, & the less importance you attach to that, the better. Don’t take it personally & put it down to the natural ebb & flow of the universe. In summary: Maintain control of your own life & don’t make anyone else’s your business. It will make you much happier.
Embrace your life
Make regular appointments to see your friends, get your hair done, play air hockey, bake cakes & go on roadtrips. The best way to forget someone is to start turning your life into the magnum opus you have always dreamed it could be. If you’re having fun & really living in the moment, that silly misguided fool will be the furtherest thing from your mind. Go out & dance, kiss cute people, eat enormous hamburgers, buy a typewriter, paint your bedroom, make a five year plan. & read this for reinforcement whenever you need it.
What to do if you’re in love with someone who is in a relationship
Back away, slowly. Odds are extremely good that they aren’t going to leave their partner for you — & even if they do, they will need time to grieve their past relationship. Otherwise there is a strong chance that your entire relationship with them will be composed of transference of emotion — nothing more. You deserve better.
While I am normally a strong advocate of the “Always Tell People How You Feel!” method, when it comes to someone who is in a relationship, it’s really best to keep it to yourself. Even if the object of your affections is always complaining about his girlfriend, you’re only hearing one side of the story. Maybe they use all that aggression & frustration as foreplay — you never know!
Think seriously about what will happen if you tell John that you love him. He will be confused & in a very awkward situation. His wife, Natasha, is going to loathe you on sight — which means you probably won’t ever see John again. It may strain their relationship hugely, & if it makes his wife so insecure that she leaves him, he is probably going to blame you.
Having said all this, of course, I am not perfect. I have been involved with people who were already in relationships myself, & yes, it always ends badly. With the benefit of hindsight, I can see that my interest in the “unattainable” person always came from a very unhealthy place. I wanted distraction or to prove something to myself & other people, & it was all crap. It was never about love, it was about ego gratification or digging myself a deeper hole of self-loathing. My point is, I’ve made those mistakes, so you don’t have to.
If you’re thinking about going after someone who is in a relationship, consider the possible cost. The carnage is always massive & it has the potential to make your life really difficult, if not a living hell. Don’t create pain in your life for the fun of it. You’re better than that! Think about your intentions & be honest with yourself. Do you really love this person, or do you just want to prove that you can have anyone you want? Work it out & realise that it’s just not worth it.
Unfortunately, unrequited love is something all of us will probably face at some point, & while it can be painful, you don’t need to let it rule your life. You can choose how much it hurts you & how deeply embroiled you get in the whole mess just by staying in control of yourself. Recognise your limitations & let go of expectations.
Allow yourself to open up to the love that you deserve. It might come from somewhere entirely unexpected, but you’re never going to see it if you’re fixated on someone who doesn’t appreciate you.
Note: Getting obsessed with someone who just doesn’t return your affections — regardless of how much you push it — can really be a shortcut to Crazyville. If you’re tempted to pace outside their front door or you’re envisioning their head on your mantelpiece, it is probably time to seek professional help!
Extra For Experts:
Unrequited Love on everything2.
How to deal with unrequited love, thanks to eHow.com.
Unrequited love can be a ‘killer’ from the BBC. How encouraging!
Super-love & cupcakes,
Gala
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ok, im using a pseudynom, i love gossipgirl as much as you.
I just wanted to say you post has been very comforting. i am, sadly, in love with my best friend, but he is in love with someone else. so reading you post makes me feel not so alone in my frustration.
i am going to do as you advised… get away from him…. and cross my fingers, get over this madness!
thank u again. have a nice day
my problem is getting [& i hate this word] infatuated with interesting people while i have a boyfriend (who i live with and have been with for a very long time).
i love my boyfriend, i just have problems making friends with guys who are ONLY my friend (not my boyfriend’s as well), in the longterm because sexual feelings develop and i care about these people, who are often people i WOULD be in relatuionships with if i didnt have a boyfriend, but i have to back away to protect my relationship. & thus the friendship dies.
this is brilliantly applicable. THANK YOU. its too hard wrenching to be in this emotional state. my heart is just waiting to be broken more and more everyday! hes perfect but he has a girlfriend so its time to move on…
i love you gala!
You know, I really agree with the statement that you haven’t lived until you’ve experienced unrequited love. Or at least a nasty breakup. You change so much when you have to pick yourself up and rethink parts of your life that you thought were clear.
Great post, gala :).
Great advice Gala!
Bonjour! Gala, another fantabulous post. I am (happily!) not in direct need of the advice now, but it is definetly one to archive and re-read when I am in the doldrums. :)
This is really great. As somebody that has been in a onesided love with a former best friend this has really helped me out. I’ve known for a long time that it’s just not working. I care more than I should and he doesn’t really care at all. Bottom line is you shouldn’t have to convince anybody that they should be with you. The hardest thing is breaking contact. I’ve attempted to do this several times over the past 8 years, but I realized reading this that it is completely necessary. I’m fine when he doesn’t “pop up”. I just have to stop giving in and trying to be friendly. When you realize that you love somebody you can never truly be “just friends”. You just can’t go back. It’s not your fault and it’s not theirs, but the best thing we all can do is take control back.
I fell in love with whom I thought was the perfect boy. He was tall, the most handsome person I had ever seen, and the part that was a clincher for me – a brilliant writer.
It took me a long time to realize that he was just flirting with me. And it took me even longer to get over him.
I am in love with a boy who is in love with his best friend.
If only.
sigh
Thanks for the advice! It is time I get over this!
This post couldn’t have come at a better time.
Thanks for this, it really helps.
hmm…
well i did find this post useful but…i dont know if i can follow the advice! i really like this person, who i’m only going to get the chance to see once more probably then i may never see them again. this makes me really nervous, since i know them, but i can’t bring myself to ask for their number or contact. i know they’re single, i know a bit about them as a person. but i still feel like it will be really dumb and random for me to pursue. there actually is no problem, except timing. the fact that i only can speak to them once more is really frusturating – if i had several more oportunities maybe things would develop naturally, or maybe i’d get over it and that would be that.
annoying how these things go.
Im 18 and i have a partner and a baby who is 9mnths.
In year 11 when i was 16 i had a huge crush on this guy and i spent the year getting to kno him and we were really close and it was awesome, then i started to go out with my current partner who i love with all my heart..and the guy i liked had a gf (tho he is currently single)
At everyparty he tries to hook in with anyone basically..and i dont care lol its how he gets when he drinks! And i though i was over him..even tho i still thought he was cute etc..
then him and his mate went away for six months and the first time i saw them since they left was last night (they just got back) and i avoided him most of the night because i could feel tht i mayb still felt for him and then later on we were mucking around talking and he grabbed my hand and kissed me on the cheek (it wasnt like seculded we were in a group of people laughing) and i felt a zap and now i am SO FRIGGEN confused!!! so is what i have unrequited love? or is it lust…i dont kno what to do! i kno he wouldnt go out with me or anything anymore..but arrrgh i cant stand it and i cant sever ties because we are a very close knit group of friends..
xx
Well, hey, I really love this article. It’s very well thought-out, and this isn’t an easy topic to broach, because obviously it’s very painful.
Thanks for posting it
Your timing absolutely terrifies me. Every single time I have a problem and I’m surfing the net I check your site and find a post directly relating to my problem. Seriously. I’m sure you must have psychic powers.
Geez, Anon #2 . . .
‘Why d’ya have to go make things so complicated . . .’ I hate to quote Avril, but it’s true.
Ahhh, what are you goingn to do?
I met him a week after breaking up with my boyfriend of just over a year.
We were both a part of a drama troupe, performing in a regional version of School Spec.
The night of the last show, we had sex.
He had a girlfriend.
I haven’t seen him since the 1st September.
We talk every day, even if it’s just a goodnight text.
He broke up with his girlfriend three weeks ago because she cheated on him.
He’s not a very nice person.
He lives five hours away.
But I can’t stop.
I know I’m only infatuated with him because it’s easier than dealing with my breakup.
But I’m desperate to see him again.
He calls me ‘sweetness’ and tells me he wishes I was his girlfriend.
But he doesn’t want commitment.
Thank you so much, Gala.
That’s one of my favourite Audrey pieces swoon.
For me, all is fair in love and war as long as everyone’s having fun. The chase, the suspense, the uncertainty, the drama, the hope…it’s all great. The trick is to treat it like the game it is, never take it too seriously.
And then when your fragile little heart breaks in two, and your girlfriends drag you out of bed and force-feed you chocolate and coerce you into giggling….that’s sometimes the best part :).
I will say this though: unrequited love has caused me to embarrass myself in horrendous ways, ways that I will not repeat! Hormones are crrrraaaaaaaaaaazzy.
Dear lord this is really perfect timing. Just when I need it, your article pops up.
I hate the fact that I’m just wallowing. And even more, I hate the fact that I still talk to him EVERYDAY. I hate the fact that my heart does a little dance when I get an email from him. I hate the fact that while saying no, he still said maybe. I hate the fact that I’m still waiting for the day he’s ready to change from no/maybe to maybe/yes.
Oh golly, I really hate commenting with something so negative ;___; Thank you for the article Gala. I will try.
“Bottom line is you shouldn’t have to convince anybody that they should be with you.”
Very true, LL.
I’d like to add, you shouldn’t have to convince yourself you should be with someone too.
If you are telling yourself, well he has a girlfriend, but she doesn’t really appreciate him…
or, he smiled at me when he asked to borrow my pencil, that has to mean something…
it is time to take a step back.
Also, I know it can be hard to cut contact when you and your person have mutual friends. I have been in this situation. It was horrid for months because at group events, he would try it on, and I’d feel very hurt and confused. In the end said to hell with this and did cut contact. I figured a true friend would not stop being my friend because it was a little less convenient. And I was right, the true ones stuck around. The others I figure I am better off without.
unrequited love is really tough. oh so many unrequited crushes on boys in high school… on a completely different topic:
i love audrey kawasaki! i look at her livejournal all the time.
LL – That is the smartest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say (Bottom line is you shouldn’t have to convince anybody that they should be with you.)
Gala – where was this article between 1999 and 2005 when I really needed it? It’s such good advice, and I agree – unrequited love is something you have to experience to help find out who you are and how strong you can be. Doesn’t make it hurt any less at the time though.
As far as wanting people who are already in a relationship – if he breaks up with /cheats on her to be with you, what is he going to do to you when the next girl comes along and tempts him? I learnt this one the hard way :)
Ohh I am so happy that now I have a stable relationship with no jealously or drama or confusion. I am a lucky, lucky girl.
Thanks kids :> Of course, it is really easy for me to tell everyone what to do — I’m not in that situation right now! Being embroiled in the middle of it all makes it a much more intense situation. But I guess my point is that we all have choices & can take control of what’s going on whenever we want.
What brilliantly sound, practical and compassionate advice! The longer I read you, the more I feel you must be an old soul. :) Thank you!
i am in mad (unrequited) love with jason schwartzman. alas, it would never work out because he is in america and i am a raging lesbian. (even though we’d look cute in matching blazers and buying second-hand records together)
but, more realistically, unrequited love is sending me broke; my mad love for the cute barista at my favourite cafe means she gets more tips than i can afford. at least one of us benefits :)
Thank you so much. This is the best post ever. Except for the Marie Anntoinette one because im convinced i was her in a past life. jokes. i just love the movie, book and history. he he he. Any way this post has got to be !! aghh its just so good. Made me realise some important things and is def great advice on how exactly to let go. I read so much about… he doesnt like you… oh let it go then! like its something you wake up and go.. oh look up there what is that in the sky?... oh thats just my unrequited love being let go! However… you actually tell us how to do this. :) beam :)
I have always been a crazy unrequited love person. I can be infatuated with a guy for years, and I’m not kidding. School was a torture for me in this subject-I first liked a guy that was on my class, we were friends but he treated me really mean (he knew of course about my feelings). Then I liked this other guy , that was on my group of friends, for about a year, when he finnally asked me to be his girlfriend…and broked up with me after a month. he was very rude to me too, and for three months I lived in hell. But at the end I could finnally get over it, and I started liking my bestfriend, how also felt unrequited love (he loved me even when I was dating this other guy). Now we have been a year together and is awesome!
Btw, I feel the same thing as anon. I find really hard to not be atracted to male-friends, specially new ones, eventhough I have a boyfriend. Is hard, but I prefer to be with him that to mess up everything with new friends…
What hurts almost just as bad is being in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend and finding out a girl has been in love with him the entire time we have been together. I feel bad for her because she hasn’t moved on, but at the same time it’s very frustrating because she’s constantly waiting at the sidelines for our relationship to fail so she can have him. I think I’d respect her the most if she’d realize that he has chosen to be with me and I haven’t made him do anything, then moved on somehow. sigh
Hell, most of the things you posted here I did when I had my own… well lets just say problem.
I think it’s worse when the said person flirts back. Flirts back in public, in front of family, in front of friends, etc. So then everyone is talking, asking, and when you go to that person, they said they didn’t realise and didn’t mean anything by it.
Basically you want to kick said persons ass because you feel like a clingy obsessive ass.
And then your friends beat him up for you because he is a dorkwad. Not the bad kind of beating up, more like the verbal beating and maybe a couple slugs on the arm.
And of course, after that, he backs off for a bit, and then does it all over again.
Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, try it a third time and I’m kicking your ass. =D
thank you for this. i am in love with my best friend who has already moved 5 hours away who likes someone else and just doesn’t care about me as much as i care about him. it’s torture but i realized all i have to do is let go. there’s no use hanging on. it’s a weird feeling, gala!!! i’ve cried over him! now all of the work is pretty much done for me and i’ve already deleted him off my buddylist and he hasn’t talked to me ever since i confessed my love for him lol lol lol. i feel pathetic but i am ready to move on. EVEN THOUGH IT’S HARD!
Your timing is so painfully accurate. Honestly, sometimes I log on to your blog and nearly jump off my seat, for there in form of one of your posts is an answer to a burning question I’ve had all day!!
I’m not sure whether to take the advice now, for right now I’m fairly certain it’s love. Whether it is unrequited…I’m not so sure.
Though- I’m def. saving this one in my files.
Thanks for the advice!
I think everyone can relate to this entry, Gala. Also, I am pleased to see that you are an Atmosphere fan! :D
Oh, giant bollocks, does unrequited love blow. I mean, if it can happen to Catullus…it can happen to anyone. But in all seriousness, sometimes you just gotta suffer. I did (for a very long time) & just when I took your advice, Galalee (gave up, let go) the boy in question decided he wouldn’t mind loving me after all. So everything was fine. Quite honestly, it was one of those wonders of timing that makes me think Fate might have some cred. So, never lose hope, Unrequiters.
Sorry for taking up your comment space to swoon about how everything is great for me. I swear, I’ll be less cheery in the future.
Stay cool,
I actually went through something similar recently. There was this guy I liked in high school but I knew nothing would ever happen past being friends so I tried to completely get him out of my mind. Then first day in college he ended up being in one of my classes! I dropped that class and entered a different one because I did not want to spend my first year in college so worried about being around him, it turned out perfectly :] I see him every now and then and we smile and say hello which is okay with me :)
thank you thank you thank you
Oh Gala this post was incredible timing – I have been pining over someone who I can’t have for months and months. I ended up having a mini breakdown over it on Saturday!
I know now that if they were that great, they would have realised how amazing I am by now.
Unrequited love can painful and messy and excruciatingly embarrassing, and I don’t want to dismiss other people’s troubles. But sometimes (in my experience) it can just be a bit of escapist fun. Add drama and emotional intensity to life by obsessing over that unattainable someone! And like a dog chasing a car with no plans to ever catch one, the reality of a relationship with the object of your unrequited passion (oh, how those words take me back, girls!!) is not what this is actually about. Possibly because The Object is a dangerous bad-boy type, or pretty-but-thick, or parties a little too hard, or will take your little heart and jump on it, or . . .
The world is full of gorgeous lovely blokes, and the culturally accepted ration is one each, so of course there will be plenty of occasions in life where we all are going to want what we can’t have.
this is a wonderful post gala. so true and yes, we have all experienced it in one way or another.
on a side note – i love ten things!! i used to work at blockbuster and i watched it on every shift hahaha
x
sigh This topic is so confusing. I have two sides of the story with the same guy. I was unrequitedly in love with my best friend for over a year before we got together and dated really happily for years, even got engaged and planned a wedding. And then we broke up and now I am still thinking maybe that was the stupidest thing ever, even though I know it was the right decision at the time. This was over 2.5 years ago.
He’s moved on but I think I still love him just as much and now it’s really never going to happen. But I have too much history to really forget him, or write it off as a silly crush. And it kills me to not even be friends but I don’t think I can be really just friends with him either. Especially because the last time it was unrequited, he came around and asked me out just after a long time.
So… I guess, half of what I’m saying is sometimes unrequited love has a happy ending! And..sometimes break-ups are hard. I am so profound today.
What a great post!
Oh goodness, could I have used this advice a few months ago! I have sucsessfully gotton over unrequited love (more than a years worth) with one of my best friends recently. The problem is that ever since then, I can’t help but feel really bitter towards her. Everything she does annoys me or bothers me in some way, and sometimes I just think awful things about her, like that shes a slut or arrogant or stupid, and I always used to think she was a great person (And she is!). It just seems like it was easier to be friends before, and I wish I could just be friends, not attracted to her, and not constantly put her down in my mind.
for those hardy few who are reading this far down and still interested in this topic,may I humbly suggest a wiki search for Limerance as well?
I have a boyfriend who is amazing to me, but am in love with my best friend.
I met both of them two years ago, and chose one over the other back then, and now am having doubts.
It is natural to be attracted to your friends. You share similar interests, favorite bands and can have great convos.
Lately, I can’t stop thinking of him and I see him every day because we are in college classes together.
Sometimes I wonder if it will ruin the friendship if I just lay it out on the table and tell him.
Sometimes I wonder if the release will just allow me to move on.
All our friends want us to be a couple and wonder why I haven’t ditched my current boyfriend and hooked up with my bestfriend.
This is my first post on your site and may i say it is lovely I saw the Marie Antoinette style article ( i love that move to pieces!) and decided to look around, this article hits home! I love the way you write and this is just what i needed. its hard because we go to the same school and I like him so so much but you have inspired me to finally do it! Thank you Gala!
i think this is absolutely great and spent awhile getting over an unrequited love (distance + lack of communication), but the object of my affections recently found me and it’s back to being long-distance/requited love. i’m hoping things will work this time, i’m flying down to see him next month.
Unrequited love really scrapes the bottom of all of life’s crap experiences.
I wish I could say that unrequited love had escaped me, but it hasn’t. I don’t think anyone is ever left out of this particular life experience.
I fell for a married man. I’ve never done anything about it and I never would, but it’s not easy. I know he’s not that committed to his marriage… and while part of me screams “Yay!” at this, hoping that one of these days I’ll get my chance, I just think “Would I really want to be with someone who would drop their wife to be with some random girl?” He flirts like a demon and it is so hard to resist.
I’ve spent the past six months or so trying to move on. I think I’m getting there. I wish all the best to everyone who is trying to get through the same situation.
I would just like to say, unrequated love sucks. I am an expert on it, i promise you.
I am 15 and deeply in love with a boy at school. He, however, (i think) is in love with (or at least fancies a lot) my best friend, who also fancies him too. I dont know what to do. Mt friend thinks im being paranoid, and that he doesn’t fancy her, but i really think he does. I dont want to ruin our friendship, but i love him so so much and cant deal with it. I am going to explode with confusuin soon!!!!
help? plz? anyone?
I hurt a lot because of this guy i love that doesnt love me back. He knows I like him, but he does not know to this extent. I love everything about him, his imperfections make him perfect in my eyes. i am a freshman, and he is a junior, and he has a million girls crushing on him. Unfortunately, we have the exact same interests so i see him everywhere. i do not know wat 2 do anymore. ive hurt for a year.
Unrequited love is horrible. I still can’t get over him I really love him and its worse coz he gave me the wrong impression and made me think he felt the same way back. I can’t stop thinking about him I don’t know what to do I tried deleting all our pictures of us together but I just can’t etc. I just love him and I have a feeling that I’ll never really be able to get over him. I hate myself!
Such an amazing and informative article, love the advice, and I can for sure say that I have been there and definitely feel like I still am stuck in the point where i’m still in love with my bestfriend, we’ve both said our feelings for one another but have decided were both better off as friends, but deep down. I still feel more for him than just being friends. How do I deal with it? I’m trying to live my own life now and stop having to drop whatever I am doing, ditch class or something simply for him. I want to live my life for myself.
I dont want to cut ties with him and simply avoid seeing him, but how do I get over him? Some friends have told me to just straight up and tell him and see how it goes.
but hes already decided hes not interested in dating. And I guess neither am I. But I definitely do have feelings for him still D: